It`s Holiday time! It`s time to relax, celebrate, exchange gifts and … get to hang out with the rest of your family. Yay.. Time for some awkward conversations, uneasy silence and blunt questions from people whom you barely know and who barely know you. Imagine an annoying aunt Agatha from Bolder came to torture you with endless awkward questions this year. Make sure you wear a smile, stay cool and not take anything seriously. Here is a list of top 5 awkward family reunion questions you won`t avoid this year.
1.“So, is there somebody special in your life yet?”
This question is asked with an exhausting consistency, usually by a relative who has little knowledge of your life and even less emotional connection with you. Why do they ask this question? I think there can be only one goal: they want to humiliate you while feelings safe in the politically correct family surroundings. There is simply no way for you to tell the truth and win this battle. If you will say you are single – everybody around will have this pity-expression on their faces and the conversation will die. If you happen to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend most likely it is not going to be good enough. Because you will hear a story about your childhood friend Mary Ann who already has a HUSBAND and two kids. Surprisingly the husband+kids will somehow win against having a boyfriend. There comes a pity expression again.
What should you say? You can not win this battle without humor. If you are not afraid of minor complications in relationships with your relatives here are two ways to answer the horrible question:
“Yes, I am seeing somebody. He/she is a celebrity (actor, politician, royal family member – be creative) and I have to respect their privacy so I can not tell you more”.
“No, I do not. I have made career and future goals my boyfriend/girlfriend. We have an idyllic relationship. Thank you for asking.”
2.“How are you?”
Sounds like an innocent question. However it can be tricky and annoying at times. If your professor asks you that you know it`s just a formality. “I`m fine, how are you?” would work. If your best friend asks the same question you also know what to say – a condensed overview of all the events that happened within the last 48h (including a story about your new hot date and a hangover) would be appropriate. But how should you react when your aunt Agatha from Bolder wants to know “how you are”? I do not know…
3.“What are your going to do after college?”
This one is a real bastard. But this is also a kind of question that will you hear many times in your life and very soon – in more formal and crucial settings – during the job interview. The question will sound slightly different “How do you see yourself 5 years from now?” But it will have the same goal – evaluate how determined and mature you are as far as making plans and setting goals.
So this time you should actually thank aunt Agatha for being so useful by being a bit annoying and helping you prepare yourself for future interviews.
“I still have 2 years to go with my studies, aunt Agatha. I have not decided yet since I believe this is a very hard and important choice and I would like to take my time deciding”.
4.“Have you gained some weight?”
Despite how horrible this question actually sounds, it is often meant well. So remember this before turning red and bursting into tears. Aunt Agatha is a relict of the dinosaur age (ok, maybe she is a bit younger. But she must have witnessed the beginning of the industrial revolution!) So for her there is nothing wrong with gaining 5+ kilos.
Take a deep breath. One… Two… Three..
“Aunt Agatha, would you like some tea and chicken salad?”
Hopefully food will keep her busy for a couple of hours.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!